You can get better at revealing the cognitive distortions in your life with a little practice. Try identifying the distortions that are happening in this short story:
📖 Short story
It is four days to Christmas and the present that you have ordered for your mum hasn’t arrived yet. You have checked with the delivery company and they could only tell you that it has been delayed and that hopefully it will still get to you on time. You are panicking and think ‘I will have absolutely nothing to give to my mum on Christmas day! She will think that I just forgot about her until the last minute and will be upset. I want to do something but don’t know what.’
📜 Common distortions
👯 Generalizing: Assuming that because you experienced something in the past this must mean it will happen again. “A dog bit me when I was 5, therefore all dogs are dangerous and will bite me.”
☄️ Catastrophizing: Are you focused on the worst case scenario? Regardless of how likely it is.
🧠 Mind reading: Assuming what others think. “They probably think I'm an idiot.”
✨ Should statements: Pressuring yourself with things you should have done differently. “I should have eaten healthier today."
🌓 All or nothing thinking: Thinking in extremes. You are either a success or a failure. "She doesn't want to date me. I'll never find love.”
🕹️ Out of your control: Are you worrying about something out of your control?
🔮 Fortune telling: Assuming future events. “I just know that something is going to go wrong and I'm going to be late for my interview.”
🚫 Disqualifying the positive: Focusing only on the bad. “He said that I looked nice but he says that to everybody. He was just being polite."
🏷️ Labeling: Taking one characteristic of a person and applying it to the whole person. “I failed a test, so I'm a bad student.”
🔎 Magnifying the negative: Judging a situation entirely on the negative parts and not considering the positive parts. “I ate healthy this week, but I skipped the run I had planned.”
🎭 Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that just because it feels bad, it must be bad. Forgetting that our feelings are just a reaction to our thoughts. “I feel anxious so it must be scary!”
🪞 Comparing and despairing: Focusing only on the positive aspects in others and comparing ourselves negatively against them. ‘Their hair is so much better styled than mine, I look horrible in comparison’.
💡 Answers
I will have absolutely nothing to give to my mum on Christmas day!
You are imaging the worst-case scenario. You are catastrophizing. There are still four days left and the present could arrive at any moment. The shops are usually open until the last minute, therefore if the present isn’t here on time, you can always get her an alternative present at the last minute and explain the situation.
She will think that I just forgot about her until the last minute and will be upset.
You are imagining what your mum will be thinking and it is upsetting you. You are mind reading. We cannot ever tell for sure what other people think but your mum knows you and is quite unlikely to think of you something that doesn’t match your character. You did your best and this isn’t your fault.
I want to do something but don’t know what.
You feel powerless in this situation. You are worrying about something out of your control. There is nothing you can do no matter how much you would like to speed up the delivery of the gift. The best thing is to wait couple more days and see what happens and then go from there. Christmas is a stressful time, try to look after yourself instead of adding an additional pressure on yourself for things you can’t control.
🌇 Conclusion:
Everyone has cognitive distortions sometimes. But we can prevent them from taking over our lives with a little practice everyday.
Here’s another powerful tool for defeating cognitive distortions: Triple column technique.
📚 Read more
More distortions: https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions
Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion
Youtube: What are Cognitive Distortions?
📱 Practice more
Download Bold CBT. It’s an iOS app that I made which makes it easier to do CBT exercises like this one.
🙏 Thank you
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