You can get better at revealing the cognitive distortions in your life with a little practice. Try identifying the distortions that are happening in this short story:
📖 Short story
Whist shopping in the mall you have noticed a couple of well-dressed people looking your way and talking to each other whist looking back at you. You think that they are talking about you and are unsure why, as you don’t know them. You are starting to feel self-conscious and think ‘They are probably talking about my casual clothes and think that I look scruffy. I should have put more effort into what I put on this morning. I am feeling so ashamed, I am embarrassing!’.
📜 Common distortions
👯 Generalizing: Assuming that because you experienced something in the past this must mean it will happen again. “A dog bit me when I was 5, therefore all dogs are dangerous and will bite me.”
☄️ Catastrophizing: Are you focused on the worst case scenario? Regardless of how likely it is.
🧠 Mind reading: Assuming what others think. “They probably think I'm an idiot.”
✨ Should statements: Pressuring yourself with things you should have done differently. “I should have eaten healthier today."
🌓 All or nothing thinking: Thinking in extremes. You are either a success or a failure. "She doesn't want to date me. I'll never find love.”
🕹️ Out of your control: Are you worrying about something out of your control?
🔮 Fortune telling: Assuming future events. “I just know that something is going to go wrong and I'm going to be late for my interview.”
🚫 Disqualifying the positive: Focusing only on the bad. “He said that I looked nice but he says that to everybody. He was just being polite."
🏷️ Labeling: Taking one characteristic of a person and applying it to the whole person. “I failed a test, so I'm a bad student.”
🔎 Magnifying the negative: Judging a situation entirely on the negative parts and not considering the positive parts. “I ate healthy this week, but I skipped the run I had planned.”
🎭 Emotional Reasoning: Assuming that just because it feels bad, it must be bad. Forgetting that our feelings are just a reaction to our thoughts. “I feel anxious so it must be scary!”
🪞 Comparing and despairing: Focusing only on the positive aspects in others and comparing ourselves negatively against them. ‘Their hair is so much better styled than mine, I look horrible in comparison’.
💡 Answers
They are probably talking about my casual clothes and think that I look scruffy.
You are imaging what these two people think of you, and that they are judging you based on your appearance. You are mind reading. There is absolutely no way of telling why they are looking at you and whether they are or not talking about you, even if it looks like they are. As we can’t read other people’s minds, there is also no way of knowing if they are judging you. Imagining them saying mean things about you will only make you feel anxious and upset.
I should have put more effort into what I put on this morning.
You are telling yourself what you should have done differently this morning. You are using should statements. Even if you are by any chance correct about them judging you this doesn’t mean that you should have dressed differently. It is your body and your clothes nobody has a right to pressure you into wearing something different. Also by pressuring yourself you are being unkind to yourself.
I am feeling so ashamed, I am embarrassing!
You are deducting that because you feel particular way- ashamed, this must mean that you are embarrassing yourself. You are using emotional reasoning. Our emotions don’t often reflect the factual state of what is happening. It is very understandable that you are feeling self-conscious right now but this doesn’t mean that you are actually being or looking embarrassing.
🌇 Conclusion:
Everyone has cognitive distortions sometimes. But we can prevent them from taking over our lives with a little practice everyday.
Here’s another powerful tool for defeating cognitive distortions: Triple column technique.
📚 Read more
More distortions: https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions
Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion
Youtube: What are Cognitive Distortions?
📱 Practice more
Download Bold CBT. It’s an iOS app that I made which makes it easier to do CBT exercises like this one.
🙏 Thank you
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